I understand that my blog traffic is not as heavy as other sites, but then again, I do not blog for the sake of others scrutinizing my insights about life, love and everything else in between. However, blogging, in one way or another, helps me spill my thoughts more spontaneously, rather than just rant it out on Facebook.
Anyways, 2011 marks a year full of celebrations - of weddings, of baptisms and what-have-yous. And it seemed to me that Cupid will find his way of making sure that couples get tangled up and babies are made out of it.
To start the year, I became one of the ninangs (godmothers) for my best friend's second daughter. It's a sealed covenant between the two of us, considering that she was the godmother of my daughter as well. It was a happy and tiring and stressful occasion. My best friend running to and fro from the reception area to the store and to approve last-minute decisions. Her partner, on the other hand, was busy doing his specialties (he was the official cook, after all) and screaming to everyone to hustle and bustle and make it on church on time. Nevertheless, the day ended with wine and beer and food all over the place, and I had to stop and drink my anti-migraine meds to keep my from swooning all the way home.
Next week I will be attending my cousin-in-law's wedding. I am now in the predicament of looking for a possible place where I can buy my son's coat for this special occasion. Incidentally, one of my former colleagues will be tying the knot as well on the same day. Good thing though, that I can skip this one (they haven't really invited me, so it doesn't hurt). They're the firsts in the long list of people getting married for 2011, and I don't want to get into the details of how they are going to prepare for it. Hmmm... somehow I'm having this nagging feeling that they are racing up against 2012. Shall I presume that at least before the world ends they have someone with them when they die? (That's stupid, and lame, and I suggest I stop from here. Sheesh..)
Two week from now I'll be celebrating my sixth year wedding anniversary. Now this struck a chord. Here I am, typing away my thoughts, and realizing...What did six years of marriage taught me?
Well for one, it lasted longer than my first marriage. (My first one was a huge flop, it was more expensive to have it annulled than hiring a mercenary to chop that freaking guy's off..oops, my evil self is resurfacing again!)
Second, it taught me to be more sensible....well, almost. I realized that I cannot always be in the high pedestal; that sometimes, I have to understand that I am part of a relationship and that my husband has his own needs and wants that I have to give way at one point or another; that this marriage is a "we" and not a "me".
Third, I realized that marriage is not the end or culmination of a beautiful courtship; it was actually the beginning of it. I realized that couples should not stop saying "I love you" to each after after saying their vows. Friendship between couples should be stronger at this point. After all, it will be a lifetime of acceptance to each others' flaws, mistakes, victories and triumphs.
Lastly, speaking of acceptance, marriage is based on it. They say that once you come to accept that he can fart beside you and you, albeit horrified at the putrid smell it brings, can just laugh it off and still kiss your partner, then it means you're ready to accept that person, inside and out. And even though your partner may not be the handsome Prince Charming as you imagine him to be, you just simply love him - for being him.
Some people spend their whole lifetime trying to change their partners for whatever they imagine them to be, only to be disappointed and end up in separation. In my six years of marriage, I realized that. So I did the opposite - I changed. I changed my perspective, I broadened my understanding, I became more positive in my outlook in life. And I guess it made some profound effect on him as well - he is now more patient and more sensitive to my needs. The marriage is far from perfect, believe me. We have our own episodes of quarrels, of quitting, of heated arguments. But one thing I know - marriage is never a guarantee of bliss. However, marriage can work if you always open yourself to communication and understanding. Seeking guidance together through God, parents, and good friends are always the best boosters for making the marriage work.
So, as I end this note, I anticipate my sixth year of friendship, of romance, of trials and of triumphs. And to my soon-to-be married friends and soon-to-be moms as well, may this year bring a year of delightful and exciting things to come.
Cheers!
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